Leading with Humility, Stumbling with Pride

         
I was dumbfounded when he asked if I would lead the congregational hymns every Sunday.

     "I really appreciate the compliment, but I have no idea how to lead music.  I have never learned."

     "So you will do it then?"

Strange response.

       Do you struggle with hearing issues or just really poor communication skills?

He looked at me pointedly - suggesting that if either of us had issues, it was clearly not him.

     "I will think about it, I guess."

Mumbling now......."I mean I guess I could think about it."

Walking away still  mumbling,...... "I'm not sure what there is to think about though.  I mean either you can lead music or you can't."

Out of earshot now (though not sure that mattered).  Still mumbling...... but LOUDER, "AND  I CAN'T  LEAD  MUSIC.    I THINK I MADE THAT CLEAR.  Sheesh."

The organist, Susan, was an amazing musician.  A Julliard-School-of-Music-graduate kind of amazing.

     "Don't you think a person who leads the hymns in front of the congregation should know how to lead music?  I mean like - have that skill down?"

     "Oh, Yes", she said.

BIG SIGH.

     "A person would definitely need to be skilled in order to lead the congregation effectively."

Yup.  That's exactly what I thought.  I was loaded with wisdom now and from a stellar musician who KNEW.  Back I went ....to share the wisdom with him.

    "So you will do it then?"

I was amazed.

     "Look," he said, " We don't really care about your skill level." 

           Uh, friend, we're not talking about a skill LEVEL.  We are talking about NO SKILL.

    "We are just looking for someone who can smile and sing at the same time."

    "OOOh, well in that case, how about you get someone who can lead and I'll stand next to them and smile and sing?" 

No response.

    "Could you tell the congregation that?"  

    "Tell them what?"

    "Could you tell them that all you wanted me to do was smile and sing at the same time?"

I could only imagine the congregation's great sigh of relief once they realized that actually being able to lead music had nothing to do with anything here. "OOOh. Well she's pretty good at smiling and singing at the same time.  I mean I never could figure what that poor girl was trying to do with her arm."

Susan agreed to meet with me early each Sunday.  Susan was humble and kind and patient and encouraging. I was scared, uptight, insecure and worried - mostly about what others would think of me.

Patiently, she went over measures, time signatures and downbeats.  "As you direct the music, the first beat of your beat pattern should correspond with the first beat in each measure.  This first beat is called the downbeat (or in some cases, the upbeat) and is the strongest beat in the measure.  At the beginning of the hymn,  the chorister moves her arm to the downbeat like so.  This is her way of letting the congregation know that it is time for them to begin singing."

I'm tracking with her, like barely, all the while remembering what he had said.  "We're just looking for someone who can smile and sing at the same time."   Uh huh, right.

Susan taught me the two-beat pattern, the three-beat pattern, the four-beat pattern and even the six-beat pattern.  It was especially exciting when it came time to sing Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd, a hymn with a 6/4 time signature.  A few minutes before the meeting started, Susan explained to me, "This is a hymn with a moderate tempo, so it may be conducted by omitting the second and fifth beats of the traditional six-beat pattern.  You can just pause at those points in the pattern."

"Do you understand?"

"Uh...."

She had me stand next to her as she gracefully demonstrated what she had just taught. 

For several weeks, we continued the process.  The dignified and accomplished Julliard Graduate gently teaching the one who, years ago, chose to quit piano lessons to grow her nails.

                                                  ________________________
                                                 
On this one particular Sunday morning,  Susan played a beautiful intro -

                                  All creatures of our God and King

and I missed the downbeat...which for me meant I'd be off for the rest of the hymn so I tried to go back and fix it ... do a re-do, a start-over, but the congregation was already ahead of me, looking completely befuddled.  "Uh Lisa, are we trying to sing this one in a round or something?"

My faced burned red.  

Once the hymn was over, I sat down and went into deep prayer.  "Lord, please get me out of  here.  Pah-leeease get me out of here.  I'm so embarrassed.  Why am I here?  I have no idea what I am doing. You knew I couldn't lead music, Lord.  I'm in way over my head.   Please, get me out of here."

As the meeting came to a close, Susan began to play the familiar chords of Redeemer of Israel. one of my favorites.  Still rankling from my embarrassing mishap, I managed to stand again to sing and do my clumsy leading.

                               Redeemer of Israel, Our only Delight

I caught the eye of the woman in the third pew, over to the right.  She was a crotchety one.  She didn't just walk into the chapel each week, she marched in - her husband shuffling about 10 feet behind carrying her bag.  Seemed like she pretty much hated everybody.  Except maybe her husband.  Maybe.

                                  On Whom for a blessing we call.....

She sang these words of hope and healing with a scowl on her face.  

                      Our Shadow by day and our Pillar by night
                                  
I knew I had lost the timing somewhere between the second and third line, but I managed to smile at her anyway.....while singing at the same time.

                             Our King, our Deliverer, our All

 And eventually, almost like a miracle, she smiled back.